There is high importance in finding happiness and satisfaction as a modern woman. It’s the new mission of many successful, high achieving women. To feel fulfilled in a true and lasting way, in alignment with ourselves on a fundamental level. Many women feel at odds with their lives, with their relationships, and with themselves. To achieve this alignment, I believe a transformative leap is required – into embracing the feminine expression of sensuality, receptivity, and self pleasure. Of embracing Fertility.
Ask any woman what she deeply desires in her relationships – it is a feeling of connection, undefendedness, intimacy, and love. We all know we want this, but how do we actually achieve it?
We free the inner Sensualista, and start living life without constantly looking at our imaginary scoreboards and report cards. We learn to embody sensuality as our superpower.
“I’m learning to drop in and consider sensuality as a natural state. For all the bodywork, reiki, and self exploration I’ve done, somehow I’ve ended compartmentalizing this sensual energy in myself. Reserving it only for certain situations or moments – like the obvious – sex or masturbation. If this sensual energy came up during a reiki session or during my creative process, I would acknowledge it, but I wouldn’t necessarily let it linger, or embrace it. I wasn’t conscious of this part of myself on the day by day as a way of being… a way of feeling and existing and moving through life. It’s like my body feels warm. There’s a feeling of being plugged in.”
These words came from a client after just two days of working together. This is the power of the feminine sensual nature. It just wants to be seen and expressed… and we’re denying ourselves permission all over the place in every aspect of our lives.
The lack of permission for experiencing pleasure – without shame or guilt – it is at the heart of why many women experience feelings of isolation, disconnection, loneliness and depression. We don’t know that pleasure is our birth rite.
And it’s not entirely our fault…
We have been taught to feel shame about pleasure, to fear pleasure because it can get us into trouble. To demonize our sensuality, shrink it, block it, and attempt to erase it – because it has gotten us attention that we are not seeking, because we are afraid of being slut shamed… because we’re conditioned by culture, ancestral line, and history.
We have been taught to blame our sensuality for the heartbreak in the world that women endure, and we take on all the stories about sexual trespass, ours and other’s. It’s a heavy burden, and a very exhausting task to bear that weight, to try to diminish our own light.
And yet we are making choices…
We don’t realize it, but we throw the baby out with the bathwater when we deny this foundational part of ourselves. We loose our deep wisdom, we loose our internal compass, we loose connection with life, we loose our radiance and vibrancy – we loose ourselves.
This is how women end up in co-dependency. In relationships that they use to constantly validate themselves with – through their sex appeal most ironically. Using sensuality as a tool to get love, adoration, and safety is the dark side of the feminine power.
To their men it is felt as highly manipulative, and sets up a power dynamic that can go undetected for years. It leads to a power over, and power given dynamic that is totally unsexy.
To the woman, this feels like a deep void – and she fills this void in a myriad ways: manipulation, control, a barrage of activities, hollow self care indulgences, and busyness – going to yoga to fill the void, getting spa treatments to fill the void, diving head first into work, motherhood, homemaking, self improvement…
Well I’m here to say – It doesn’t have to be this way!
Claiming sensuality – in whatever way that expresses for the individual – it the KEY to true and lasting confidence, empowerment, and expanded self-expression.
Claiming permission for upright sensual expression, for the sake of living undefended, raw, real and connected – this is the only healthy way. This is the way towards the wellbeing that every woman seeks inside of herself.
Sensuality can be a SUPER POWER. It can open you up to worlds of fulfilling life experiences, peaceful inner contentedness, and mind-blowing, meaningful sexual encounters that uplift BOTH partners.
5 Tips To Claim Sensuality as Your Super Power:
#1: Tuning into your sensual nature. The way the body senses the environment throughout the day is one great way to start reconnecting. How does the breeze sensually caress the light hair on your skin? How sensual is the sunlight? With awareness you can re-sensitize yourself to receiving the miraculous sensations from the body. When you do the entire world becomes a sensual, sensed in the body playground. You can take pleasure on demand!
#2: Tune into your womb and pussy. I like to have my clients set a timer on their phones to go off regularly throughout the day – every 2-3 hours or so. When the chime comes, stop everything and place your hand on your pussy, clothes on or underneath is up to you. Take 10 deep breaths and just be there. This is a sort of neurological rewiring practice – we’re so wired to avoid “the down there”! You will sensitize yourself to being in your body, connected to your pleasure – which makes for a much happier lifestyle than churning around in your head all the time!
#3: Take on a sensual creative project. Maybe you are a photographer, or a dancer, or a painter. Maybe you don’t feel like you have any artistic talents at all! It doesn’t matter. Here are some ideas: If you’re into photography, do a series of pussy photos. Take one every day for a week, sensing into her different moods at times of the day, before and after sex or self pleasure sessions, when you feel really happy, or angry. Or maybe you want to choreograph a really sensually expressive dance to your favorite song that moves your body. Maybe you want to paint your pussy while you look into the mirror. The point is to be in relationship and be reverent for your beauty, uniqueness, your own personal pleasure box. You will gain a deep love for you unique flower, her essences, and her odours.
#4: Go on a self pleasure safari. I love this one, it really makes my clients squirm sometimes. This is self pleasure homework, and I often prescribe two sessions per day. MANY many women totally neglect themselves in the pleasure department – you’d totally be shocked at the most empowered women who still feel shy about masturbating or asking for what they want in bed. It’s an epidemic! We love to complain too, oh how men have no idea how to touch a woman. Well, neither do the women! This homework is three fold – to help further your body’s wiring for pleasure, to help you decondition cultural narrative with action, and take ownership of what feels good to you. You will benefit from a hyper sensitized libido in many many ways in your life, and you will begin to see how sensuality is your super power.
#5: Ask for what you want. They say nothing is sexier than a woman who knows what she wants. It’s true in bed and business. Often though, the fear of rejection is so ingrained, women actually don’t ask for what they want, but instead try to get it in other ways – generally speaking ways that are all about manipulation. This is very UNsexy. It’s all about feeling safe, so don’t beat yourself up about it! Just make a commitment TODAY that you will just ask for what you want instead. No more guilting, suggesting, complaining, nagging, comparing, or competing. Just slow down and ask with honesty, and you will be surprised at how much beauty will come your way…
bonus tip: to harness your sensual power, extra points if you sense into your pussy while you ask!
Once you re-sensitize yourself and become a sensually awake woman, you have the power of your turn on, which is really just the power of being in your natural state. Sensuality is our birthright, in pleasure is how a human being feels at rest. This antidote for the stressed out modern woman. When she learns to harness the power of her sensuality, she falls so in love with herself that not only is she rewarded by life at every turn, getting what she asks for because she OWNS it – but she also learns softness, surrender, and ease in her body. Just like a lioness who hunts prey with her sisters, at the peak of performance, is utterly wild and commands respect, so is the lioness supple, sensual, and tender.
Sarah Louisignau is an empowered sensuality & fertility coach, with over a decade experience helping women (and men!) reclaim healthy, happy sex lives, and discover deep wisdom, love, and trust within through the process of decriminalizing pleasure and sensuality. She’s had her own podcast, led workshops & retreats, coached individuals and groups in three continents, and created a complete program for women looking to reclaim sensuality & fertility. She’s been around the block, searching for the best non-dogmatic methods and philosophies to empower women and men in their search for wellbeing. Schedule a free consult to see if you’re a fit to work together!